The Lesbian Loudmouth Podcast

What can I say?  You've got to know when to hold em.  Know when to fold em.  I should've folded.  If you wanna hear an old lady talk about toilet installation have I got a show for you!  We hear from Mr and Mrs Electric Gary.  Their story made me pee a little.  

Sur le pont d'Avignon TONY DANZA TONY DANZA!!  Sur le pont d'Avignon TONY DANZA TONY DANZA!!  Sur le pont d'Avignon TONY DANZA TONY DANZA!!

Ahh kids songs!  They just get stuck in your head endlessly.  We hear from Tailz and Rose!  Lucky!!

Sarah tells us about her surgery.  Up yours Clarice!  See you in hell!!  

We hear from Tailz and Electric Gary!  I talk about the Duggars, the most inconsiderate man in the world and a man wearing a shirt.  He wore a shirt!

Dude, where's my keys?  That's right!!  It's time for another round of our favourite game; "How dumb is she?"  We hear from Tailz and Heather.  

I hope I am able to describe "The Robe" in painful detail.  I hope you stop screaming long enough to leave an iTunes review.  Next show will feature Tailz and Heather.  Stay tuned.  

Hey!  Wanna hangout while I fold laundry?  We hear from a brand new submitter.  Welcome aboard Heather!  She's my new favourite.  I wanna get physio, physio.  Lets get into physio, 

Electric Gary saves the show yet again.  I talk about the joys, and miseries of having 20/20 vision.  We get some good news on the Clarice front.  I avoid other parents at soccer like nobody's business.  Malcolm tries to pitch me on bringing toys to a very special place.

Rainbow and Lisa join me on this episode.  Funny segment as usual!  I ramble about being a victim of an accidental email forward from a family member.  Yuck.  Thanks to those of you who have donated to the show.  I like you better than everyone else. 

Another road trip.  Awful sound quality, but our relationship isn't based on perfection.  It's based on acceptance.  It's just me and you again on this show.  I bet you'll never guess what I had in my pocket the other day.  I would've stumped Gollum for sure.  I also went shopping for glasses, at Costco.  Every single time I go to Costco I leave a little bit of my self esteem behind.    

Machete fight anyone?  If you live in Winnipeg the answer to that is yes!  Just say when and where.  I talk about my Dr's inability to check a box.  No he's not my gynocologist.  He just doesn't fill out forms.  What kind of show do you think I'm running here?  

I tackle the age old relationship question; "Do I look fat in this?"

We hear from Rainbow, she has some great advice!  Leave an iTunes review.  It could save your life.  

A quick update from myself. Tailz tells us about her driver lesson woes.  I align myself with another one armed fat woman.  Solidarity.  

Ever try to do things with one arm that you shouldn't have attempted with two?  You haven't?  Bit killer.  We hear a kick ass story from Tailz, plus a segment from my new favourite Amy.  She has a great voice and I hope to hear much more from her.  My wee boy closes the show with poop talk.  I love him.  Happy Birthday C-section scar!!  Oh, and Malcolm.  Happy Birthday Malcolm!!!  As well.    

What's a lesbro?  The urban dictionary tells me it's either a guy who likes to hang out with lesbians, or a guy who tries to seduce lesbians.  Nuts to that.  I think it should be two gay gals who want to be best friends 4 eva.  Who's in?  Lisa?  Join me in the car yet again for this fantastic voyage.  We hear from Julia and my sister wives Rainbow and Lisa.  

I think the opposite of mania is depression.  I'm so happy to be off the codine machine.  We have a nice long segment from electric Garry.  I've missed him!  Other than that it's my mental unravelling.  Same as always.  

I don't even know what to say about this show.  Yikes.  We hear from Tailz, Rainbow, and our wife Lisa.  

I really feel like karma is trying to tell me something lately.  That something is that i should watch my flinging flanging back.  It's just me on this show.  Just me and you, hurtling through space and time.  Living life.  Never apologizing.  Why? Apologies are futile. Love is life.  Life is love.  You are me, and I am you.  Tylenol 3's turn my inside voice into Mathew McConaughey.  It's both terrifying and exhilarating.  More terrifying though.  It's like 99:1.  Feel free to leave an iTunes review.  I'm typing this with my left hand.  I kinda deserve a few, cause I'm tough.  Real. Tough.  

A family who barfs together, stays together.  Theres a lot of bodily fluid talk in the first 15 minutes.  I mean FLUID in the strictest sense of the word.  We hear from a new, old friend T-bag who has a moral dilemma.  Rose pops in to tell us about what could be the worst party in the history of the entire world.  Julia gives us her two cents on, hetero vs lesbian sex.  

Road trip!  I take you on a pothole filled adventure through the streets of Winnipeg.  Lucky you.  I think I said "privy" about 600 times this show.  I tell a mailman happening and introduce you to my future wife.  Plus, we hear from Rainbow!  She does a fantastical job!  

We hear from Electric Gary, Dr Mike, Kendra, Tailz and my boy has more daycare gossip.  

A quick check in.  I tell two stories.  Both are terrifying.  Please Don't barf Marque.  Four word sentence fun!

Rose checks in.  I talk about flying with a kid.  Man spread, and My 600lb life and inappropriately timed nutella commercials.  The sound quality is horrendous.  Mind yer business.  Just, mind yer business.

Welcome to the best ten minutes of your life.  I should've called it "Crazy Allergy Mom".  You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have, the facts of life. The facts of life.  Stay till the end to hear me take orders from, then immediately get rejected by an almost 3 year old.  

We hear from Tailz and Electric Gary.  My not so wee boy fills us in on daycare gossip.

Why does the whole house smell like B.O?  That's a great question.  All will be revealed my pets.  We hear from Chaniece and hear an old clip from our first attempt at conception.

I'm home from work.  My kid may or may not have pinkeye.  Either way the daycare said he didn't have to go home but he couldn't stay there.  Double mail tomorrow!  I'm a straight up hustler.  I'm not afraid.  We hear from Rainbow and Chaniece and hear a fresh old  song from the 90's.  I can smell the sideburns.    

I ramble about Christmas, and i FINALLY get what's coming to me.  We hear from Tailz and Electric Gary.  

I started recording this show on Festivus and finished on Christmas Eve.  We hear from Tailz, Kendra and Malcolm.  Have a good holiday season you guys!!  Thanks for everything!!

I talk.  A lot.  I talk a whole lot.  Then Rose sings and gives us a couple reviews!  Speaking of reviews how bout one?  iTunes?  Me and you?

I'm up bright and early on this fine Saturday morning.  We hear from Julia and Chaniece.  I'm on vacation!!!  Leave an iTunes review.  That wasn't a question.  It was a demand. 

Sarah sits in with me today.  We talk about Christmas and our new friend Clarice.  We hear from Darryl, and Tailz.  Leave an iTunes review.  Or I'll find you, and when I do I swear to God…..

We hear from Elaina, and Rob Scissors is back to torture me with the English language.  Malcolm sits me down for a little chat.  

I Skype with Sugar.  A whole hour!!  You owe me.     

I had a run in with my future self at the store.  We hear from Chaniece, Daryl, Kendra and new comer Julia.  Thanks for the iTunes reviews!!  

I blather on and on as per usual.  We hear from Rainbow for some actual intelligent content.  

Sometimes recording after having even one beer is a poor choice.  I made that choice.  We hear from Electric Gary and new comer Chaniece.  Word, just not to your mother, over and over.  

I say my very last few things about the demise of RTS.  We hear from new comer Elaina and Tailz.  

Look, I get a little touchy on this one.  I get a lot defensive.  I'll be back next week, after I've had time to think about my feelings.  We hear from Tailz, Kendra and Rose tells us some jokes.  

Here's a tip, pay your flinging flanging bills.  We hear from Kendra and Rose!!  Leave an iTunes review. I see you.   I know you haven't yet.  

This one went pretty fast.  We hear from Electric Gary and Rose.  There's a little something special hidden in the show for my favourite listeners.  

It sounds like Dorothy Zbornak hosts the show today.  If you don't know who that is you don't deserve to listen.  I talk all kinds of nonsense and we get updates from Tailz and Rainbow.  We also get to hear the buffet review from Sugar/Erin and Midge!!  

Talking about something, while trying not to talk about it, proves to be a-quite difficult.  Anyway, we have a segment from a Mystery Mail lady.  She has seen some stuff.  Some stuff she wishes she hadn't seen.  Sugar and Midge send in a hilarious bit about restaurants.  We hear from another new comer Sally.  She is adorable, funny and has a great voice!     

I talk about the awkwardness that was the last show I did.  Don't fear!  We have Darryl and Rose for actual entertainment.  Rose opens up, and meets a celebrity.  Darryl advises me on the adolescent male.  I'm afraid.  Very afraid.  Gotta go!  There's a pizza in my oven.  If you know what I mean.

It smells like cooking tomatoes in here.  I can't take it anymore.  My brain cells are dying.  This is the fifth show in five days.  You're welcome/I'm sorry.  We get to hear from Kendra!  Thanks for the iTunes review.  Whoever you are!   

Nothin' but class for the fourth show of five this week.  I'm drinking boxed wine at 11:30 am on a Tuesday.  We hear from Rainbow and a lovely lady named Joleen.  

We were woken by old lady music again.  This time, it's personal.  Sarah and I discuss the incident.  Good show!! Three shows down, two to go for this week!

Gary is back from his trip to Canada!!  That's all you really need to know.  Two episodes in of five.  Leave an iTunes review and I'll stop talking.  

The first episode of five this week.  We hear from Darryl, and things, and stuff.  

I get a little cheeky right off the hop.  Thanks so much for the iTunes reviews!!  I think they make a difference.  Either way getting feedback makes me feel like there's someone out there.  

What do you do when you're almost 35, and it's early Saturday morning, and you're a mom?  Go to the farmer's market!!  Ahhh good times!!